4 Tips to Overcome Insecurity as a Man


Insecurity is a common feeling that many men experience at some point in their lives. 

Insecurity can stem from a variety of sources, including personal experiences, relationships, and social media. It can be downright debilitating at times and can negatively impact your mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. 

But there is a way out. Here are several steps you can take to deal with and overcome insecurity.

#1: Recognize Your Insecurities

The first step to dealing with insecurity is recognizing that you have it. This can be a difficult step, as insecurity can be deeply ingrained in our thoughts and behaviors. 

However, becoming aware of your insecurities can help you identify patterns and triggers that contribute to your feelings of insecurity. 

Keep a journal to record your thoughts and feelings, and pay attention to when you feel particularly insecure. This can help you identify the underlying causes of your insecurity.

How to recognize insecurities in yourself

Recognizing insecurities in yourself can be challenging because they can be deeply ingrained in your thoughts and behaviors. 

However, there are some signs that may indicate that you are struggling with insecurity:

Negative self-talk – If you find yourself constantly criticizing yourself, doubting your abilities, or comparing yourself to others, it may be a sign of insecurity.

Seeking validation from others – If you rely on the opinions and approval of others to feel good about yourself, it may be a sign of insecurity.

Avoiding challenges – If you shy away from new experiences or challenges because you fear failure or rejection, it may be a sign of insecurity.

Perfectionism – If you feel like everything has to be perfect and become anxious or overwhelmed when things don’t go as planned, it may be a sign of insecurity.

Jealousy – If you feel jealous or envious of others’ successes or accomplishments, it may be a sign of insecurity.

Constant comparison – If you constantly compare yourself to others and feel inadequate or inferior as a result, it may be a sign of insecurity.

Fear of vulnerability – If you avoid being vulnerable or opening up to others because you fear rejection or judgment, it may be a sign of insecurity.

It’s important to note that everyone experiences insecurity to some degree, and occasional feelings of self-doubt are normal. However, if you notice these signs of insecurity are impacting your daily life or causing you significant distress, it may be helpful to seek support from a therapist or mental health professional.

#2: Challenge Your Negative Thoughts

Insecurity is often fueled by negative self-talk and limiting beliefs. These negative thoughts can create a cycle of self-doubt and reinforce feelings of insecurity. 

To break this cycle, you need to challenge your negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. This can be done by asking yourself questions like, “Is this thought true?” and “What evidence do I have to support it?” 

By challenging your negative thoughts, you can begin to reframe them in a more positive light.

How to challenge negative thoughts

Challenging negative thoughts can be a powerful way to overcome insecurity, anxiety, and depression. Here are some steps you can take to challenge negative thoughts:

Identify the negative thought – The first step is to become aware of the negative thought that is causing you distress. Notice when negative thoughts arise and try to identify the specific thought or belief that is causing the negativity. Don’t judge them as right or wrong yet, just take a minute to become aware of your stream of thoughts and how they’re impacting your decision-making process.

Examine the evidence – Once you’ve identified the negative thought, examine the evidence that supports or refutes it. Ask yourself, “Is this thought true?” and “What evidence do I have to support or refute it?” Consider whether the thought is based on facts or assumptions.

Look for alternative explanations – Try to come up with alternative explanations for the situation that are more positive or realistic. Ask yourself, “Is there another way to look at this situation?” Consider different perspectives that may challenge the negative thought.

Practice self-compassion – If you find yourself struggling to challenge a negative thought, try practicing self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, as you would a friend. Remember that negative thoughts are a common part of the human experience, and you are not alone in experiencing them.

Reframe the thought – Once you have examined the evidence and considered alternative explanations, try to reframe the negative thought in a more positive or realistic light. For example, if you’re thinking “I’ll never be good enough,” try reframing it to “I’m operating as closely to my full potential as I know how at this moment, and over time, that will make me better.” Because, truthfully man, even the greatest men you look up to sucked at at some point.

Focus on your strengths – Insecurity often stems from a focus on perceived weaknesses or flaws.  To counteract this, it’s important to focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Make a list of your strengths and achievements, and refer to it when you’re feeling insecure.  This can help you to shift your focus away from perceived weaknesses and toward your positive qualities.

For example, I’m not the fastest runner, but what I lack in speed I make up for in strength and grit. I refuse to quit. I’ll run a 10-minute mile pace if I have to, but I refuse to stop getting better. That’s what keeps me going – because I know the kind of man I want to become. And that man doesn’t quit just because he’s not the fastest.

Repeat positive affirmations – To reinforce positive thinking, repeat positive affirmations to yourself. For example, “I am capable and worthy of success” or “I don’t quit. I will continue hammering away at this slowly and steadily until I improve.” Repeat these affirmations regularly to help shift your thinking toward positivity.

Challenging negative thoughts can take practice and patience, but with time, it can become a habit that helps you feel more confident and self-assured. It may also be helpful to seek support from a therapist or mental health professional to develop more effective strategies for challenging negative thoughts.

#3: Take Action

Insecurity can often leave us feeling stuck and powerless. To overcome this, it’s important to take action toward your goals and values. This can help you to build confidence and a sense of accomplishment. 

Start by setting small goals that are aligned with your values, and take action toward them every day. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small, and use them as fuel to keep moving forward.

Take small actions even though you’re insecure and feel frozen.

Taking small actions can be challenging when you’re feeling insecure and frozen, but there are some steps you can take to help yourself move forward:

Start with a small goal – Break your goal down into smaller, more manageable steps. This can help make the task feel less overwhelming and more achievable.

Focus on progress, not perfection – Remember that taking small actions is about making progress, not achieving perfection. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge any progress you make, no matter how small.

Create a plan – Write down a plan of action that outlines the steps you need to take to achieve your goal. This can help you feel more organized and in control.

Use positive self-talk – Use positive self-talk to encourage and motivate yourself. Repeat affirmations such as “I can do this” or “I am capable” to yourself.

Take one small step at a time – Take one small step at a time, and focus on the present moment. Don’t worry about what comes next or the outcome of the task. Instead, focus on the step you’re taking right now.

Celebrate small successes – Celebrate small successes along the way. Give yourself credit for the small steps you’ve taken, and use that positive energy to motivate yourself to take the next step.

Remember, taking small actions is not about achieving perfection, but about making progress towards your goals. By breaking tasks down into smaller steps, using positive self-talk, and celebrating your progress, you can overcome your feelings of insecurity and take small actions towards achieving your goals. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to seek support from a therapist or mental health professional who can help you develop effective coping strategies.

#4: Seek Support

Dealing with insecurity can be challenging, and it’s important to seek support when you need it. This might mean talking to a trusted friend or family member, or seeking professional help from a therapist. A therapist can help you to identify the underlying causes of your insecurity and provide tools and strategies to overcome it.

Insecurity is a common feeling that can negatively impact your mental health and well-being. But by recognizing your insecurities, challenging negative thoughts, practicing self-compassion, focusing on your strengths, taking action, and seeking support, you can overcome insecurity and build confidence in yourself and your abilities. 

Remember, overcoming insecurity is a journey, not a destination, so be patient and kind to yourself along the way.