Do you ever stop and think about how important both our time and our actions are? As you go throughout your day, are you aware of how valuable each action and each moment truly is?
There’s a compounding and resounding ripple effect coming off of everything we do whether we realize it or not. As a father, A misplaced word can derail the self image of your child, regardless of your intentions. As a husband, one careless action or lack of action can seemingly cause irreparable damage to the trust between you and your wife. As humans, and especially as dad‘s, we wildly overestimate the impact of our plans and intentions and grossly underestimate the impact of the little moments we overlook.
See, a person will only use something to the extent they see that thing as valuable. If, for example, someone were to walk up to you and hand you a block of precious metal worth millions of dollars, yet you had no idea how valuable it was, then you could never use it to its full potential in order to realize the full value of it. Our time and our actions are much the same way. Until we can start to see the value of our time and actions even in the daily Mandane, then there’s no way we can fully have the impact we could if we only understood the value of what we’re holding.
To cherish something means to keep something in one’s hand or to care for something deeply. When we value something, we cherish it, and when we cherish something, then we steward it well and I. When we steward things well, then legacies are built and entire generations are empowered. But it all starts with valuing and cherishing.
So here are three things to cherish as a father in order to have a lasting positive impact on not just your kids, but on the generations that come after them.
Cherish your insecurities
When we don’t deal with our insecurities the right way, they can cause us to retract in fear or lash out an anger towards those around us – neither of which produce positive outcomes. But insecurities are simply opportunities to be vulnerable. They’re those areas where we’ve decided that we really care about how we’re doing yet we don’t think we’re doing well enough to warrant confidence.
If we started seeing insecurities as vulnerabilities that expose opportunities and began cherishing them instead of hiding them or lashing out because of them, then our families and those around us would be able to relate to us more.
No one wants to follow someone who’s perfect; they want to follow someone who’s vulnerable because vulnerability is what sparks growth and it’s what helps us connect with the people around us along the way. So cherish your insecurities.
Cherish what frustrates you
Frustration happens when we want to change something but can’t. And frustration is perpetuated when we constantly feel as if our satisfaction is just on the other side of the next change we can make.
But the reality is, life happens in the middle – between where you’re at and the change you want to see. In the middle there’s friction, and you get to choose what you do with that friction. You can make the choice to cherish the frustration as a path to walk down towards change or you can let that frustration drive you to being resentful of the moment.
If you wait for the frustration to leave, you’ll no longer be living. As long as you’re living and there’s change on the horizon, then frustration will happen. So cherish those moments and embrace the process.
Too many people look at parenting and marriage and life in general as something that’s either already happened or what might happen. There’s the way things have been and the way things might be one day. But very few look at what can be true right now. There’s a certain amount of satisfaction that comes from both looking backwards and looking far into the future because neither of them require work. There’s value in each of those, just not nearly the amount we place on them.
The true value is found in the things that can be true right now if only we decided that they can be. You may have been an angry father before, and you might do better in the future, but the true value is found in the opportunity you have right now to be the dad you see yourself becoming. That might look like a simple hug for no reason. It might look like cooking dinner for your wife. It’s not a monumental move into the future, but anything worthwhile rarely is. Instead, it looks like the micro opportunities you have to inch into the future you want.
Where almost all of your attention should be is on the things you have access to right now that can change things ever so subtly. Cherishing that instead of huge shifts will build a much better and more consistent future for yourself and your family.